Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
1. I wasn't at work! Thank you God!
Monday, July 20, 2009
And I wanted to add:
Yeah, and then your eyes got all scratchy and bloodshot
and your nose and throat and chest suddenly fill up
and it's kind of hard to breathe
and you can't help but sneeze, but you still try to stay as still as you can
and your right eye gets all purple and swollen and shiny
and when they say your name you think they're talking about you, not to you, because you're all disoriented, and they come running in thinking you're not breathing...
or maybe that's just me?
Yes, MRI's can be really scary, but yours sounds like it was pretty normal, so maybe you should quit your whining.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
One of the first emails I sent with my new married name was to someone named Jean-Philippe in Canada. He wrote back:
"Did someone give you a new name for Christmas?"
I replied: "Sort of. I got married on New Year's Eve."
His question was cute, it made me smile. It also gave me a really evil idea. JP doesn't know how old I am, and I was really tempted to write back, "I got a divorce. That's my maiden name. Thanks for rubbing it in."
Like what to name my netbook. You know, the one everyone I know is going in on for my birthday.
1. George. Because I will love him and hug him and ... call him George.
2. Giorgio. Because if I call him George, my mom will say "when you say George, all I can think of is your uncle George, and ew." It'll be a little in joke and won't work my mom's gag reflex.
3. Gigi. Because Giorgio is getting too masculine. Why couldn't the netbook be a girl? But wait, not Gigi, because I want to name my daughter Julia, and Gigi is actually a really really cute nickname for Julia (especially since one of my nicknames is Kiki). And if I name my computer Gigi, then I won't want to call my daughter Gigi, just like I can't name my son Gabriel because I named a cat Gabriel.
4. Sammy. Short for Samsung. Cute, simple, androgenous. I like it.
So actually, I spent the last hour of work 1) doing work, 2) naming my netbook and 3) nicknaming my as-yet-unconceived daughter. That's what I call productivity.
My birthday is still 3 months away, but I know exactly what I want. No need to create a wishlist, because I only want one little thing: a Samsung NC-10 netbook.
My laptop is currently unusable because of battery issues. Sure, I could solve that problem for $80, but my laptop would still be big, heavy, five years old, and weighed down with a ton of stuff I never use.
I've had a netbook revelation: I am the user for whom the netbook was invented. I want small, light, simple, and fast. Thanks to Google Docs, I can perform every function I want to with only a web browser. I'm a "coffeehouse user" as one reviewer put it, and the netbook is the perfect computer for me.
And the Samsung NC-10 is the perfect netbook for me. It's compact and light, but still sports a 10" screen. The keyboard is 92% of standard size and comfortably laid out. The battery life is great at 6+ hours.
Also, it matches my phone. Sold!P.S. The picture is a link, for your convenience. :)
Thursday, July 02, 2009
And then I saw this folder: Canada Rent.
To which I said: "Oh, oops!" And then laughed hysterically, because forgetting to pay the rent for our Canada locations is kind of more than an oops.
I'm sure you're really super important to our business, Canadians! I'll try hard not to get you evicted!
Love your site! The Daily Show recaps are brilliant, and I love love love the photo galleries of Michelle Obama and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy! Your style section is where it's at.
But, umm, we need to talk. During my lunch today I innocently opened your site, and you hit me in the face with this headline: "Jobless Numbers 'Devestating,' Worse Than Expected." The thing is, sweetie, this is not what I come to you for. Unless you want to tell me about something ridiculous Dick Cheney or Sarah Palin did, I don't want "news."
I clicked away to the Style section, and you showed me three pictures: Rahm Emanuel, Barack Obama, and Robert Gibbs with their "manbags," Obama and Bobby Flay grilling, and Hillary Clinton makin' it work with her arm cast. Yes, this is the light entertainment I was going for.
So I'll make you a deal. I'll start opening your website using this URL: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/style/ And you keep anything "devestating" away from me.
Love you to pieces!
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
The text message read: "Omg starving!"
My boss's request? Move the chips, cookies, and drinks from the conference room to the break room "so that people can eat them."
What's the opposite of FML?
I scoffed. I vowed that I would be completely done before she asked this afternoon.
Right now, I'm looking at line 314. Despite the cramps in my shoulder from sitting in the same position and hitting the same keys over and over for hours, I may not finish today.
But I saw something at lunch that tempered my disappointment. The receptionist is on line 84.
Okay, she probably had a ton more distractions than I did, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, blah blah blah I win!